things are contained, mind you. there is room to move around, the rug is visible. and i do the occasional overhaul where i remind myself that i don't need that entire bag of scraps, and it's time to let go of the hope that someday i'll find the time to make a completely handsewn crazy quilt. and i don't go to nearly as many rummage sales as i used to, so my acquiring of new pretty is somewhat limited. and sometimes reorganizing can show me a trove of treasures that i had squirreled away, so it feels like i have something new.
but the challenge is that what i do is more than just a hobby. most of the hats i make to sell have vintage components...that's kind of my signature style. when you're a hobbyist, you can argue, 'yes but do i need these vintage flowers? i mean, how many will i ever actually use...?' i have the mindset of, 'i will never find this again, and it would be perfect on a bridal piece.' and because vintage is so unique, it's very hard to let it go, as you probably won't find it again. and thus the accumulation continues...
the other battle (which i'm getting better at fighting) is not seeing materials as too precious to use. i've agonized over using a particularly lovely vintage piece on a hat that is to be taken off to be sold at one of the co-ops i work through, but then i remember that's what makes it unique and appealing. i also remember that using materials makes it ok to acquire more, which is often as fun as making the hats to begin with!
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| photos by Jivelle Callender |
the bigger challenge, though, is the uncontrollable desire to learn how to make even more things. i mentioned in an earlier post that i have a seemingly insatiable thirst for learning new technique, that leads to more interests and ultimately leads to more materials. and i can't limit it to small things, no sir. like my spinning, for example. a pound of spinning fiber can be about the size of a basketball, sometimes bigger. i actually had to install shelves in my living room to hold all of the baskets of the fiber i had brought home from festivals or had purchased online. of course, i now have some spinning commissions, so it has found it's way into my 'things i do for money' category (as has my knitting and crochet). however, i'm hoping to work through what i have before i purchase more.
i suppose there are worse things than finding yourself nearly buried in prettiness. and having it all around me serves as an inspiration to keep creating. this is sometimes lost on my boyfriend, who is more of a cerebral creator and keeps a very tidy and organized space. his sister, however, is a complete enabler to me, as she is an artist and also surrounds herself with her own kinds of pretty, often in the form of natural objects like beautiful stones and shells, and that aesthetic is strongly reflected in her gorgeous artwork. my work leans more towards the vintage, but it's the same idea: she fully understands why i needed to fill that jar with spools of vintage silk thread or buttons. there's comfort in knowing that i'm not alone in my collecting.
in the end, i suppose i know deep in my heart that 'Hoarders' will not feature my tiny overstuffed apartment. and that this is just the lot in life for the creative soul. to be continually creating and being inspired, it helps to be surrounded by inspiration. there is pleasure to be found in sorting through your vintage button box or tin of antique lace, perhaps thinking about who held those objects before you. i think my love for all things vintage comes from the lovely thought that it all had a life before it came into mine. i enjoy feeling like i'm a part of a living history that i'm contributing to by finding a new use for the flowers that were salvaged from someone's once new Sunday hat. it's not just about repurposing, it's about connecting. and it believe it brings me that much closer to my own humanity. kind of a beautiful thing, don't you think?
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